his facebook status quotes britney spears so there is always that
Sometimes your consistent use of proper punctuation makes me nervous D:
you called me at 4 am to tell me you found the cracker barrel location where we'll have lunch next week
Taking the airport shuttle drunk should not happen this often in my life.
Just found 2 diff. colored pubes in my underwear..new record.
The beer is more important than you right now.
i lose more brain cells when ever she opens her mouth then i would doing meth for 8 years of my life.
These people keep looking at me like I'm the first person to ever eat ribs in a Home Depot.
It feels kinda weird thanking you for sucking my dick, but I just don't know what else to do right now
Where are you? I hear fireworks and you've gone missing. I'm sure that is not coincidence.
Lets trade lives
And i will lay in bed and piss all over everywhere, drink whiskey and have sex with married bears
Shower sex is an art that should not be attemted drunk
Everyone keeps telling me I look so healthy and happy today: the power of the penis people!!
I'll pick u up. I have to buy a new sofa cover anyway. I swear I've never seem a girl cum like that before.
I would let him fuck me right here in this laundromat. Praise Satan.
Randomize
