He started to lick my mole,thinking it was my nipple.
I walked in on my roommate finishing watching something on his computer. There was cum all over his screen. He awkwardly said hi and pulled up his pants.
It was amazing what she could do with her one good arm.
we screwed to my bar mtzvah tape, I became a man while watching myself becom a man
I swear my cock is like a magnet to my friends younger sisters mouths.
Turns out that my surprise "happy birthday" drop-in for my dad turned into a "my parents like afternoon sex a lot" realization.
i think maybe i'll just not watch it. i'd rather not think of you as a magical transforming set of dick holes.
Considering showing up at your house with coronas. I'll be wearing a sombrero and that's it.
Party city is having a sale on maracas
I hit a child with a fudge sickle from a moving vehicle after he flipped me off, I feel like a God. Tell no one. My partner didn't see it.
This hurricane better not stop me from sitting on the stoop thurs & enjoying all the slutty costume walkofshamers
I currently need breakfast in bed, morning sex, and a bourbon and diet coke. Make this happen
Do you think accidently including this month's Credit Card statement in my application will keep me from getting into grad school?
Depends ... when did you purchase your vibrator?
I should be trashily making out with an air force cadet in the beach volleyball court by now
I'm on my way to bail our sister out of jail with our mother's credit card. How old are we??
As a side note, can you ask the maintenance staff not to drag their balls on our stairwell handrails. Please.
Randomize
