So I just went home and made my own spanx by cutting the legs off of a pair of nylons. I'm either a genius or missed my calling to live in a trailer park.
I've grown up since last year. I don't give blow jobs as birthday presents anymore.
well he is only 50 percent black.. but after last night i am 100 percent not going back
well i just got discharged from the hospital after getting pegged in the head by a t-shirt gun so thats how my night was.
I can't believe they didnt cut us off after we all hugged each other and started singing "were the 3 best friends that anybody could have" RIGHT IN FRONT of the bar and bartender...
Also yeah I would definitely have to say that one of my favorite things to do is to get high and pet cats.
my pupils became my eyes and i slept with a cloth in my mouth again
He told me that his favorite part about me is hearing my voice while we fuck. I think that was the nicest thing he has EVER said to me.
It has been so long since I got any action that I have decided to change my vagina's name from "the chamber of judgement" to "the cave of forgotten dreams".
Wanna show up on a guy's doorstep and punch him in the balls for me? At least this one isn't a cop.
I threw a dessert topping at a baby tonight so drink up! If you stay sober tonight I will be very disappointed in you.
I need dunkaroos back in my life.
I will go to bed dreaming of sexy Olympians carting me on a throne to the beach where they feed me pizza and champaign and massage my head/wash it like the hair dresser does.
Bitch got stabbed in the eye. With a fork. Wait for it... At church. I was the only one at a party interested in her story. Only in the south
Standing straight up with intensity he came in his own mouth. I know this because he showed me the video from five different angles when asked if I would like him to demonstrate. And I did.
Randomize
