I just watched the Dark knight, Maggie Gylennhaal looks like Katie Holmes after a stroke
finally nailed that neighbor chick. hopefully i can get her wireless password now. free internet trumps moral standards any day
I just peeled a layer of cum off my eyelid. Don't even tell me that's not why you came over
my knee is completely bruised from kneesliding into the bowling ball. bowling for creativity points was a win
Just had the best idea EVER: start a mead brewing/dispensery business! WE CAN BREW IT IN MY GIANT CLOSET, AND NEVER BE SOBER AGAIN.
How on earth did you break your wrist?
I went into someone's yard so I could pee and I found a tireswing
WHAT IS PROPER BONG ETIQUETTE FOR WHEN YOU'RE ALONE IN YOUR BATHTUB AND CRYING?
I yelled kanye while he was fucking me. It just felt right
I tore the muscle in my left calf at the gym and still spent all evening in heels. UNSTOPPABLE!
He was trying to talk to me about standards while he had a french fry box on his hand like a glove and was using it to flatten his cheeseburger.
would you like to venture to the magical clitoris forest?
Go forth my friend, but don't do any of that fruitful and multiplying shit.
If I take one more surprise finger up the ass this week there will be hell to pay.
We broke up. My life is now 7 inches less.
Look, his dick is so good at being a dick that it makes me see God. And I don't even believe in God.
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