come outside for a special surprise it involves huge boobs
Let's perk you up. I have a good PG joke and a picture of my penis while urinating. You pick.
can you buy anything in the cafeteria for less than $2? I spent the last of my laundry money on a chia pet
Dude, I don't care how big her tits are. I have to dump her. She shit in my shower.
He's sobering up. It was really bad for like 45 minutes. He cried while telling me how he pictured us eating hotdogs on the beach together.
College students should never be allowed to have snow days. Never.
That chick who made out with a door is here. Want her number??
I am the prescription. I can be taken orally or vaginally and in any dosage. This is why I went to med school.
I'm glad that even though we are states apart our whorish hearts beat as one
I'm not drunk because I think my blood just is alcohol from last night so being drunk is sober. If that makes sense
I just ordered 30 klonopins from India that could probably be anything from Viagra to Midol. You need to find another friend to get advice from right now
We had sex and then stood naked in his living room eating zucchini bread.
Please don't explain what tea bagging is to my mother.
Btw I'm playing passed out so you can get laid but obviously you need to take the offense just ask him if he wants to go to bed and leave a cigg on the counter
Congratulations on giving me my first and second hickeys last night. I made it almost 30 years without one, but who needs class these days?
Randomize
