Paul doesn't remember going to the bar and slept on someone's porch...doesn't know whose porch...maybe near Howard U.
I gave her the chance to be interesting and she failed. So then I gave her a chance to be slutty and she failed at that too.
dude i have an english essay and a bio lab due tomorow
so basically your not goin out tonight?
who said that?
i gave her a can of corn and told her the cabs are accepting non perishable food items over the holidays. blatant lie and she lives like $40 away
I guess it was to be expected that I was put on somebody's list called penis socket.
This bowl of cereal would be the size of a giant's bowl-piece. It's. that. big.
How much did you smoke??
All I wanted was a hug. You dirty, dirty whore.
Is it inception if it feels like another uterus is going to burst out of my current uterus?
A big dick and how quickly they respond to snapchat is all I look for in a guy
The security deposit's gone, let's trash this motherfucker
Because you failed to stop the wedding, now I have to be a homewrecker. My eternal damnation is on your head I hope you're proud.
Accidentally typed message to mom that included word "kink." FML. Played it off as autocorrect from "drink" which was somehow more acceptable
chicken nuggets make me a bit homicidal
You started yelling about vegans ruining the world. Because we drove past some cows eating grass.
how do do this?
do what? Keep standing? Choose between 2 guys?
keep making boys cry?
Randomize
