And then he said "good night girls" and kissed each one before I put my shirt back on
dont seek real advice from me tonight cause its always gonna end with we should have sex
So, when he came he screamed MORTAL KOMBAT!!!! at the top of his lungs and all of his roomates yelled back FINISH HER!!!!.....yeah kinda akward
it looked like a condom graveyard when i woke up. they were everywhere
sweet and enthusiastic is code for tiny dick.
I'm too drunk to be surrounded by this many indians
How do you manage to be drunk and a racial minority so often?
Hippo gnu deer
I want to tell everyone I've ever met about how he him picking me up and fucking me against the wall was the highlight of my life. Worst lesbian ever.
Nice. The Governor's son bruised my vagina.
That's going to be the title of my memoir.
Did you take the bag w/your drugs & cookie cutter?
I'm just blindly tossing my dick into whatever comes my way.
I love you man but my hope is that you will not wake me up again by pissing on me
We have angered the beer gods. It feels like I'm shitting angry cats.
He got up after sex and said "is it wrong if I say happy Mother's Day?"
I woke up naked next to my hot manager. Left before she woke up, and worked an entire shift with her. She has no idea.
Randomize
