I feel miserable, can't drink that much when I go out
We've been saying that since '98
maybe all of them together would equal one normal sized dick.
We were doing it doggy style, and I puked on the floor and started crying, he told me it was okay his cat would eat it... and if it would make me feel better we could do anal...
And they lived happily ever after....
he started fingering my stomach rolls instead of my vag... am i really that fat?
recycled a plan b box. kill a baby. save a tree.
He waited til after we had sex to tell me he had herpes... Ugh I hate being drunk
My lips are sealed. Both pairs.
When I was leaving this morning he gave me some candy off his floor to prove he was a nice guy... He definitely knows the way to my heart. Best one night stand ever
It's 4/20. I'm not too worried about "healthy"
I'M SO LONELY THAT I TEXTED THE FRESHMAN
Just walked by the barren window naked in a family neighborhood. Who needs dignity.
After we hooked up, his roommate shouted "I LIKE TO HAVE SEX TOO" from across the apartment
I think he was trying to be romantic, but the candle he had lit was the kind you use to repel mosquitoes..
She is either doing really drawn out crunches or trying to sniff her boobs...She's lying on her back with her hand behind her head, forcing her head into the cleavage that's ok to expose and then moves her head back and then does it again.
He showed up with a hearse full of beer and is currently shooting pumpkins with a flare gun. Who gives a shit if he's a furry. We need to party with him more often.
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