Do you know of any times in scooby doo when the monster turned out to be a real monster? You know not just a person?
if my college career had corporate sponsors, they would be natty light and aim toothpaste.
im goin to the NYE party with a tuxedo painted on my body. i know a girl who does it. wanna join?
We were making out and then he stopped and said to me, "Your ship is right there, why don't you take your people and just go?"
Your scrotum should have touched every square inch of that place by now. Start with the water fountain.
Since when does sleeping with your RA not result in free meal swipes? I feel so tricked...
I had to physically hold you down to stop you from going out the window naked. You put up quit the struggle.
The kid in the park, who was on a leash I might add, looked at us and yelled "stranger danger" before hiding behind his dad
It was his birthday this weekend. I had to carry him 6 blocks, in 3 inch heels. The entire time he was trying to molest me, eat my face, and try to stop every two feet to tie his shoe. He would light a cigarette, forget about it, almost burn everyone, throw it out, then decide he wanted to smoke. He kept repeating that he trusts me with his life.
...Wow...
I could be a kindergarten teacher
Just stepped off the plane in St. Louis. I'm breaking out in hives, I'm allergic to Midwesterners. Can't WAIT to get the fuck out of here.
It would seem she's painting a bullseye right in between her legs
also new logic of mine : I fuck a Scottish kid , Scotland national animal is a Unicorn airgo I've come close to fucking a unicorns descendent, mother always said dreams come true
So it turns out "let's pretend to be gay so guys will stop hitting on us" was step one in her plan to get me into bed...
There's a fine line between kinky and serial killer
You snapped me at 3am drunk laying on your floor asking if I knew how we couldn't have predicted the housing crisis.
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