She acts like you when your on meds
She acts like batman?
kicked my backpack and turned on my vibrator in the middle of class. success.
Olympics start in one day, that gives us 24hrs to think of gold medal worthy drinking games
You weren't lying about those ceramics students giving the best hand jobs.
ah. the first shower back home is like a baptism from the sins of the past year
I have no idea. After the fireworks it all went to shit. Do you know why I woke up with a road sign?
he offered to walk down from the bar this morning to my house and bring me a guinness...
how romantic. its the irish mans version of flowers
Just an FYI: The offer for you to come snow blow my driveway in return for sexual favors is still on the table
Just had to return the shit I stole from the dining hall, with everyone watching...apparently there ARE consequences for being drunk, coked up and belligerent.
you said you wanted to feel how much my penis weighed for educational purposes
Am I supposed to confront my 52-year-old boss/mother of 3 about the fact that we matched on Tinder?
I downloaded the presidential playlists for offline listening. And Obama made a night one so we have presidential approved fuck jamzzzzz. Thanks Obama!
Pretty sure I was naked for most of the night.....success
You're moving up the public shitting ladder
After he finished, he fell on the floor and whispered "finally satisfied"
Randomize
