I just peed or puked all or around my parjibgb lot.
parking. I am not drunk
I just walked by a ginger with a mullet. I repeat GINGER mullet. So help us God.
She used my dick as a microphone to sing "any way you want it" I'm in love.
My TA just asked me why I was late to class. How do I say because I was having the best orgasm of my life in Arabic?
Its like they don't get that I only talk to them before homecoming, thanksgiving, or any other time I go home. I love highschool girls.
I let him do a line off my nipple in exchange for his prescription pain pills. I feel like 3/4 Vegas stripper, 1/4 underbelly of society.
Idk I somehow continue to get laid by pulling my dick out and reciting the 3 world country orphan kid commercials
Is it wrong I want to seduce my ex to prove the point to his current gf he's an ass?
what the hell is that chicken wire thing she's holding?
An artistic expression of her stupidity.
That's not as bad as watching a dumb ass drunk peeing into your window fan -
I think he just tried to put your boyfriend in a trashcan....
I'm spending tomorrow doing taxes and making jello shots. Is this adulthood?
She was shaving her legs in the neighbors pool when we found her.
Where'd she get the razor?
Not the point.
ARE YOU FUCKING KIDDING ME! I SAID I WANTED SOMEONE CLASSY AND INSTEAD YOU SET ME UP WITH A GUY THAT JUST TOLD ME HIS FAVORITE PLACE TO FUCK IS ON HIS SWAMPBOAT “THE SLAMHOG!”
I DON’T WANT TO FUCK IN A SWAMP
First of all, his AIR boat is named “Slam Hog” not “The Slamhog.” Second, it’s top of the line. Third, don’t dismiss swamp sex before you try it!
Unless my dick prospects improve this year’s Halloween costume will include panties with “DTF” written on them and a push up bra
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