Ben's a prick.
What Ben are you talking about?
All the bens across all the lands
i just made my gag reflex go away.
Countdown til Saturday. I'd assume we're somewhere around 10,000 bottles of beer on the wall.
You kept telling that ginger girl, "it's not your fault, it's not your fault, it's not your fault."
just got a girls number while on a 5 am adderall cig break this is college at its finest
the last time i saw him was an hour he was floating face down in a pool... but i'm sure he's fine.
what's not responsible about a pool full of beer?
Remember when we made you finish your beer after you puked into your glass?
i hate being the asshole.
And dont forget my 23rd birthday where with no underwear i crawled through the cage of the police car. Dont get drunk be fore you get drunk.
Lying on this bed is like lying on love and marshmallows and joy
Come get me...we were walking home and she kept yelling "people need to get run over more!" then she just sat down in the middle of the street saying "it just feels right."
As he walked by me and gave me his dreamy smile full of dimples all i could think was 'I gave you chlamydia'.
Dude I bought tampons with cardboard applicators by accident and now I know my vagina hates the 1960s
First dip in a brand new jar of Nutella, and my man’s dick are two things I will not fucking share.
I need you to get the emergency bail money out if the stuffed panda and go to the police station tot bail me out. I should be there in 20 minutes.
Randomize
