We met at my place after separate parties but the condom wrapper was red with hearts and said love. Does that count as a romantic date?
Of course I lose my iPhone but still manage to hold on to the ruler for my dirty teacher costume
I'm really really gonna try not to at least one night. The 4 day thanksgiving bender almost killed me last year
Well, let's see..I held him while he cried for 30-40 minutes, woke up on his couch AND he gave me a ride home in his underwear. Shit show is not even the half of it.
You had your shirt off checking IDs at the door and you don't even work there
I cnant read. Cheetos goen. Help. Grt Cheetos.
He didn't call me beautiful but he came in less than five minutes so same thing, right?
We literally solved our fight using cat pictures on Instagram. True love.
I have already put on my inside pants.
If pulling your dick out counts as a hobby that is his.
Once again, marijuana saves me from going to jail
so how was it...?
sadly not as impressive as one might expect from a division one athlete. he lacked the stamina i had hoped for, and by lacked i do mean he fell asleep while he was still inside me. an epic wtf moment, i know.
Sorry i ignored you for so long. I think my vibrator is broken.
He gave his liver a pep talk before the vodka chugging started
I'm reading fall out boy fanfic. What has my life come to.
Randomize
