Come to the Burger King. We're waiting for you.
he just asked if i would like him to change his diet so his jizz tastes better. keeper? i think so.
Apparently he doesn't remember leaving the bar
If I spent $100 at the bar and didn't get laid I wouldn't want to remember anything either
is it normal that we went to that class once and both got 100's on the final? ohhhh, arizona state.
i'd date him for the sole reason that he thanks me after giving him head
just started drinking the sprite you used to ice your crotch last night. Missing you already
im not going to any frat parties next semester. for once i want them to think its actually hard to get in my vagina
Just remembered getting lost in a "shortcut" through yards and GPSing my way home last night
Three guys came up to me at the bar and started dancing on me, while screaming "Johnson's girl." That's the last time I sleep with a freshmen.
I'm so tired of waking up with my bed full of deli meats.
Just finished off half a bottle of vodka. Can't take in anymore liquids so I ate 3 spoonfuls of your powdered gatorade to fight off the hangover. Wish me luck and check me for a pulse when you get in!
To confirm, you are a grown ass man and you just asked me what her vag looked like.
reason #326 why I'm still single.... my date just told me there's a little boy ghost that lives in his closet because he likes his music.
if becoming an adult is chugging a bottle of wine in your bed and crying about your stresses while your dog watches you, sign me up
Learn from my mistakes, you naive soul: Gay love triangles are just as dangerous as straight love triangles.
Randomize
