they say Disney World is the happiest place on Earth. It's a close second to the Super 8 on route 18. That place holds some great memories.
I don't want to have to wonder if I'm draining my pasta in the same side of the sink you pissed in
I didn't black out, the guy in the Men In Black costume erased my memory
they bought blue cups instead of red...wtf how am i supposed to pretend im on laguna beach??
So me and friend just finished Eiffel towering this girl and sounds great in theory but after the high five has commenced its just a weird threesome especially when you make eye contact with your buddy during the session
I JUST WANT SOMEBODY TO EXPLAIN HOW FORESKIN WORKS AND DO NOT UNDERSTAND WHY THIS IS A PROBLEM.
Why the FUCK can i grow hair on my big toes but not on my chest?
I need to stop drinking and eating and start working out. I look like the lovechild of John Goodman and Jabba the Hutt.
see these eyes, they just want to bone and go to sleep.
This number has temporarily been disconnected and will be restored to service once you get rid of you girlfriend.
THERE ARE SO MANY ALCOHOLS IN MY BLOOD RIGHT NOW
At what part of the night did you guys leave?
After my hot tub cannonball.
Someone explain why I'm twerking in my bathroom right now before a charity run
who knew my inner goddess was such a whore
He left a fire sauce packet from taco bell that said "promise you'll text me in the morning" on my nightstand.
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