Skinny jeans should not be made in size 14. Then, it's just a lie.
There's a girl in my class named "La-a" pronouced "Luh Dash uh" I hate everyone
It's my fault I'm alone. My closest relationship is with my blackberry....thank god it vibrates.
I'm way too horny to be at work right now. I think it might be legally irresponsible to leave me alone with cucumbers.
Well i'm not entirely sure considering he gave my vagina an early valentine's day card that said "you're purrfect."
I could really do without pictures of your asses in my inbox. That said, I'm extremely jealous that I wasn't involved.
No more. You can't have nice things, and vodka is a nice thing.
So he drunk messaged me last night telling me he wants a baby. Think I should call his bluff?
Novelty of the week: Getting my lipstick back in an evidence bag
who sends a dick pic at 3 am on a sunday honestly
seriously. and now it'll take him hours to clean up the glitter
Company meeting and there he was. Felt a little weird like 'last night you were telling me how your dick loves me, and now we're listening to a report on sales figures'.
I swear to god, no guy has been as interested in sticking stuff up my butt as this girl
so he found out i have him as "average size" in my phone. fair to say we arnt going to be dating anymore
I had to break up with her. She was sending me study schedules and recipes for vegan lasagna. I’m just trying to survive man
Woke up way too warm in the middle of a spooning sandwich. Was working up a rant about still not wanting a threesome. Then I realized the littlest spoon was the dog. Might need to break up anyway.
Randomize
