Do you not remember dry humping your dog for 20 minutes at oxfest dude?
The walk of shame is so much worse when you've spent the night third wheeling.
He corrected me on my grammar when I came. Fuck English majors.
he went down on me with a nose plug on, you tell me how it went
He just reenacted his orgasm in front of my roommates....using a squeeze bottle of mayonnaise.
slow down on the beer.. we don't need another pentabong projectile hot dog incident
I fucked your brother... Hey, at least we know he is not gay... You're welcome.
Hate is such a strong word! I prefer to think that you strongly dislike me due to the honesty I show towards your routine shortcomings of success in life.
my mom went out and bought me new sheets and redecorated my room. its like she's more excited for me to get laid tomorrow for the first time in two months than I am.
I wonder what chicks would think if they learned that when we add them on fb we email their bikini pics to each other.
Beer acquired. Food is cooking
Wow, you are almost sliding into home plate for some stellar fellatio
I'm a college student and my dad gets more ass than I do..... do you see a problem here?
Its 8 in the morning and I wouldn't pass a breathalyzer test, How's your day been?
Apparently we fucked, I kicked him out, then he came back and we did it on the coffee table and in the kitchen.
I wouldn't have found her if it wasn't for the vomit trail leading into my brother's room.
Randomize
