It's 8:30am and I'm drinking.... this is a new low
I told him next time he kisses her to remember where that mouth has been...
How'd that go?
Hes on his way with a baseball bat...
I was watching truelife I'm transgendered. This tranny already got a date a week after getting a vagina. I've had a vagina my entire life and can't get a date.
So he saw that playlist i made with his name as the title. i think he's creeped out that I have 106 songs that remind me of him
no guy is ever going to take you seriously as a potential marriage prospect unless you learn to swallow
when my professor asked "does anyone know what streches across south america" and a kid in the back row said "my exgirfriends vagina" i knew i was at home.
i remember getting really pissed off when you wouldn't let me sleep in the garage with your cat.
I mean, I know they're ugly, but I cant turn down a birthday threesome.
I can't see straight with both eyes and ive only been at the bar for an hour. Someone else typed this for me.
It's great having no responsibilities. In normal life I would be freaking the fuck out right about now. But the only worry I have from last night is where i got this shower caddy full of cookies. God I love college.
I'm just gonna go with where the wind takes me. if it takes me to his dick, so be it.
I found a blow up pig at an adult store. He will have to fuck that on video if he wants anal. Also, I bought a pair of clear high heels. Tell your brother I love him.
She started giving me head while we were watching the Walking Dead premiere, WORST BJ EVER.
I was so high I watched a 5 minute video of different scenes of horses running. The music was magical.
You're telling that to the kid drinking Jack in nothing but a graduation cap
Randomize
