I really want to sleep with her friend. I'm hoping our casual sex relationship will somehow lead to that.
tagging him in all 73 close-ups of your cleavage might have been a little obvious.
He plays me like an instrument...he is the Carlos Santana of my vagina.
No one knows who he is but he hasn't missed a shot in beer pong yet. He's dressed as lance armstrong and is tearing shit up.
In reality u ask do u have beer at your house but what your really saying is will there be cock in my mouth
admittedly, it's a little weird getting relationship advice from the mother of a former one night stand. but she's a wise lady and she buys me drinks, so i'm ok with it.
oh wow I have been there. Hell one time Matt and I woke up naked with pizza rolls in the bed.
she broke my one feeling. seriously I think she broke my dick.
I never thought that it would get to the point where I would have to specify that by "hang out" I meant "fuck like rabbits." Growing up shouldn't be this way.
Get a piano. I want to have sex on it.
I'm treating this like a real date. My boobs aren't even out.
I'm so proud, I have tears
Yes. That was the exact moment of my conscience clicking into instant high alert.
i dont know whats worse..that i woke up in a gorilla suit or that its covered in peanut butter
You danced?!
I just jiggle to the beat like a sexy lava lamp
Do you ever wake up and realize playing beer pong with your parents wasnt a dream? Your mom really beat you
Randomize
