if he's not good at sex i should be allowed to have sex with someone who is. that's a totally legit statement i think
Oh right she's pregnant - that's why all of her statuses have been uber depressing
You know, he picked a really shitty time to stop sleeping with me to pay attention to his girlfriend.
Starting drinking whiskey at eight. Already had ten girls looking up my kilt to make sure I'm wearing it right.
My new dealer is 16. I have been getting high longer than he has been alive.
I don't see the problem
Apparently I'm ahead in the foot race to his dick because I'm not insane. If I'd have known that's all it took, I'd have worn sweat pants more often.
He kicked in the door just as I climbed on top of him...and stood there. I felt like I was in a porn. It was invigorating.
I tried to stop that, but then I pulled the leaves out of my panties and went to sleep.
He shattered his pelvis base jumping so his dicks out of commission for 4 months. Your up, second string.
I dunno I mean I feel like I owe everyone an apology except the two people I punched in the face
Our nipples touched last night. It was tender.
You ripped my pants off and gave me the choice use it or lose it what was I suppose to do.
Fireball goes down like mother's milk. Btw your housemate is naked
Alone, in the dark, eating tacos and drinking vodka. Who's apartment is this?
This is the most aggressive rendition of that Proclaimers song I ever heard.
Randomize
