Who is this?
Who do you want it to be?
Sarah Palin
I've got the updo, bangs, and glasses, but I'm blonde
Last night, my friend changed all my contacts in my phone. I have been texted by Batman, Donatello, and Hermione Granger. I have no idea who they are, and it doesn't upset me at all.
Theres someone in the car behind me eating corn on the cob & talking on the phone
I developed a drinking game for WoW. Everytime I die, I take a shot.
Please get laid.
i hope not, i just know that at one point I was sitting on the bathroom floor eating bugles and crying because i had no one to show that it looked like I had witch nails when i stuck them on the ends of all ofmy fingers.
Your 'drink of the future' makes sense now- you feel it for atleast 10 hours into the future
I'm playing a little game called "how many shots of jack can I take before I become a shit show tonight". All front row seats are sold out.
its ok, the prom king gave me his crown to puke in
Your dress got me laid by one of Obama's Secret Service members. Patriotic duty, check.
but they dont look like handprints. looks like someone had a boxing match with my tits and my tits lost
It's like I'm getting a welcome home parade with sex!
According to timehop today marks the 3rd anniversary of my 1st blackout
Holy shit, we're married as fuck.
Why did the sexual harassment class show a clip from frozen?
Seriously considering taking a nap at lunchtime in my car. That. Hung. Over.
Randomize
