Alex texted me. Bootycall boy #2. its like an alarm goes off once i'm single that the line is open again
we need to go to the store. i'm tired of having bud light for breakfast.
do you want me to pick up budweiser instead?
I have only been in this city 3 nights and there are already 4 bars I can never go back to again.
hey, i'm all for honesty but let's not get carried away
Yea.. I remember nothing. Except that the taxi driver was 56 years old and apparently never cheated on his wife.
That's why you NEVER put anything a stripper gave you in your mouth
Dude, if she brings up the lube, you know nothing
I paid your cover too so you're on the list as tits mcgee. You're welcome :D
She has either a C-Section scar or a bullet wound, I can't quite tell
When we were eating pie last night, I dropped some, and not only did you not judge me for far surpassing the 5 second rule, you let me use your foot to sock mop with. You're a good friend.
I inhaled my own vomit, how was your night?
I only want to come over for sex and blueberry pancakes
of fours songebofy did dknt stop believing
how legible are my texts
Dude how about today while I was on lunch someone died in the break room at work....I didn't even know we had a break room!!
how do you tell someone, in the most complimentary way possible, that they would make an excellent stripper?
Randomize
