discovery: the myth about swedish girls giving good head? not a myth.
Spaghetti and Car Bombs, good idea or what will end up on the bar in a few minutes?
Just watched my manager erase "we've been 2 days wo an accident" and change it to "0" these ppl are too high.
Disney World has no open container laws. Ohmygod this place is even cooler than it was when I was ten.
I think I used your jacking off shit when I showered. I couldn't see shit, it was all oily. Fuck power outages
You know how I got mad at him for making out with his formal date? Apparently I fucked mine. I'm guessing any exclusivity is out of the question.
Why are your underwear on my dining room table?
You rode your bike four miles to my house. Yelled "I'm so high!" Then crashed into his car. It's a problem.
I'm ready to get married, then we can lie around watching anime and eating pizza while he rubs baby oil on me
MY GOD DAMN TV STOPS WORKING EVERY TIME I AM THIS FUCKING HIGH. WHY MUST IT TORMENT ME?!
This is not the first time I've recognized my body is subconsciously trying to make pizza.
Dude, do you think he'd be pissed if he found out that I always reference him as my starter husband?
did i get sucker punched in the face last night or was our make-out session just that intense?
I'm going to ride your dick until it falls off. That horny.
I'm equal parts terrified and turned on. Come over.
Remember that one time you told the bartender he was fuckable? Well, he's here.
Randomize
