I'll buy you a vibrator, we can get married for tax benefits, and live happily ever after with lots of doggggs.
I was being carried out of the bar, but then my friend saw Pat who just got kicked out scaling the wall to sneak back in, so he carried me back in, sat me on the bar stool, and the bartender just let us all keep drinking.
Being persistent has its perks my friend.
just got my goo swallowed for the first time. colors seem so much more vivid now, and more rainbows are outside
then again I'm sitting on a tree stump completely naked in the dark listening to some type of glee soundtrack.
There's three frat guys comparing how you were in bed. apparently you have gotten worse with time
I don't care how old I am, if it's your 21st birthday I'm going to make out with you.
I would feel bad sleeping with her unless all of her personalities were on board with it.
Druken naked yoga : jus another ploy to keep your husbands eye in check
HELP THE ONLY THING THAT'S HELPING ME DISTINGUISH BETWEEN THE TWO OF THEM IS THE DIRECTION OF THEIR WINKY FACES OMFG
He walked away from the girl that just blew him to hook up with another girl, and when she got pissed he just turned around and screamed, "SHE IS LIKE 10X HOTTER THAN YOU!" Then she went on an angry dick sucking rampage. There were 4 victims.
Names, who you're caught in bed with, both minor details
I got inside last night via doggy door
Elliott peed on my floor and slept in it lol that's a one line description.
mcfuck me up
MCFUCK ME UP INSIDE
Who the fuck is "nick from the beach last year"
No idea hahaha...why?
He just texted me.. Should I ask where I met him?
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