I could have mohawked her pubes.
I've crashed the car, it's a write off. The police are here and I'm dressesd as a crayon.
hey you forgot your wet suit in my room you can come grab it whenever
Nothing says walk of shame better than a onesie and a 12 pack of corona..
The strip club called, they have your shoe.
Omg. The nephews found my stripper pole. The scary part is theyre good at it.
It's hard to judge what a reasonable amount of cereal looks like in the spaghetti pot. We're out of cap'n crunch and milk.
I feel like I was dropped out of a helicopter. Through the propeller.
Neighbour is sobbing. Difficult to masturbate.
You asked for 4 things: your phone, your wallet, your keys and your denture. I stopped asking questions.
Who loses their virginity to fucking Flo Rida
You know the sex was rough when you wake up with a chipped tooth. I have no regrets
I feel fine lol. I tried climbing a tree but the branch broke and I got arrested.
hey can you send me that pic of that dude?...if this isn't Rochelle's phone...can you please find and tell Rochelle to send me that picture of that dude?
College is really paying off. I am gonna be a great teacher. I just made a grading sheet for weed. This shit got an A.
Randomize
