I just found a frying pan...in my bed.
so, totally just picked up a pack of red bull, and some magnum condoms and the old woman at the register's tone went from "hi blah how are you" to "oh....how YOU DOIN'?" she knew what was up
Don't feel obligated to get back to me but I think I just fell in love with a middle aged waitress at the Dennys in waco. She's used but in good condition.
ps... at the end of one of the videos you yell "let's do the eiffel tower again.. i'll be in the middle!" .. i almost died lolol
Do you know how hard it is to get cum out of a straw hat!?
Well, find something you can use as a snorkel and be aware of your surroundings.
he came in the shower with me...i thought it was going to be nice and romantic...until he started peeing on my leg.
well I already know I'm going to hell, at this point it's really go big or go home
Telling someone to make good decisions on a Thursday is like telling Santa to be Jewish.
Remember the thing I sent you? "Often complex problems are best solved by thinking like an animal." Hump away!
Best day ever, my junk is bigger than Kate Uptons boyfriends. Yay for Fappening day!
I have to tell him to stop eating me out so I'm not late for work; my life could be a lot worse.
I am at the car wash dressed as a turn of the century librarian
fuck sobriety. I want to wake up tomorrow in a park or some shit.
I would like you to know, a bag of cheese cubes just attacked me at work.
Randomize
