if only i could text you this smell
He ate me out. It was like watching him trying to win a pie eating contest
i forgot to tell you that olivia sent me a text yesterday that the mormon girl got caught with weed in her vagina at school
Cause i'm hanging over the toilet bowl and thinking about your ball in my mouth is not helping
There are too many people on this bus for it to be even REMOTELY okay that I'm wearing a puke covered sweater
I'm gonna take my bong and hot box the pirate ship in the daycare playground.
I can't feel my tongue. And that means go. Green means go. And you know what Barney says. Green means go and woah means no. DRIIIIINKK
She just asked if I wanted to eat nachos off of her boobs... I'm going to marry this girl.
seriously they are like going to hulk burst through. There are perks and downfalls to having big boobs
I'm about to be a GTA V widow, he could at least throw me a bone. Literally.
I'm 99% sure the Indians were high for thanksgiving and we should respect that by getting high too
he fell asleep naked and all I'm doing is staring at his weird balls
I told the emergency room nurse I didn't want to stop and ruin the moment. She said safewords are there for a reason. Super condescending. Got her number though.
Turns out it's a fake number.
She told me "I think I'm going to puke tonight" a few seconds later she said smiling"I can't wait!"
My vagina just clenched in fear
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