My favorite part was walking in the bathroom, you fixing yourself in the mirror, calling your reflection a fag, then throwing a haymaker into the paper towel dispenser before going back out to the bar.
You handed some guy a spoon you found, he yelled SPOON GAME, and then the two of you spent the next 20 minutes throwing spoons all over the kitchen.
Because selling drugs to kids never goes out of business. We get older, they stay the same stupid.
The goal for tonight is vagina. In and around. Doesn't matter who. How. Or why.
High Amy loves you. Sober Amy is unsure, but she's not here so fuck that bitch.
I feel bad for his balls. Ive never seen so much sperm. He had to be dying
You leaned over so she could squirt ketchup in your hair and then started chanting "KETCHUP NIGHT!! KETCHUP NIGHT!!!"
YOUR TITS WERE ON THE TABLE.
The more I piece together last night the more I want to vomit it out of my brain.
Hey, taking organic chemistry means no one is allowed to tell you you're partying too hard.
Mom is talking about dicks with her friends in the living room. I am 5 seconds away from scaling the bathroom window out of here.
you would have been so proud of how classy i just looked at the pharmacy with my $10 off plan b coupon. so resourceful.
He started me on Celexa. I think I feel like Bjork. Is that normal?
Like... my feet feel like little octopuses, and they want to swim to the next room.
I'm in the fetal position trying to figure out a way to get someone to deliver me pancakes.
The dog peed on the neighbors baby Jesus. No wonder she thinks we're the devil.
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