We almost didn't get a second pitcher, but now we're getting a sixth.
make sure you eat your skittles last so when you barf you can barf RAINBOWS.
I'm glad you enjoy my eating disorder so much.
I don't remember what your face looks like..
I don't remember your face either, just your dick.
My favorite part about you getting arrested is having to explain the prosthetic leg in the front seat.
Good to know: if a hot girls asks to go back to my place, she probably just needs to vomit all over my bathroom
Just because he's a soilder doesn't mean his dick is a hero.
as he left, i held up my fist and said "pound it out" and he was like "are you serious, we just had sex..."
he's wearing our apron and eating a pb and oreo sandwich. and calling the oreos "topless" since he took their tops off...
she showed up with nothing but olive garden breadsticks in her purse.
We listened to Rod Stewart Pandora and slow danced in the shower.
At some point I'd like to figure out how the weird kid from sociology ended up on my couch naked hugging what appears to be some sort of clothing....seriously it's creeping me out
Meghan got a job at the bar. We're now morally obligated to drink. Is this what dreams are made of?
Weve literally been going out drinking five days a week. That counts as a full time job right?
It's because of weed that I don't mind driving an hour to visit my family. And it's because of you that there's weed in my life. Thank you.
Currently standing at the bus stop in just a pillowcase and its fucking snowing
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