I'm pretty sure there is a country song about this exact situation
I don't know what you drank last night but you really enjoyed the 4 egg body shots.
Everything smells like beer. Everything. But I cant drag myself out of bed to take a shower. So beer it is.
She told me she loves her boyfreind while she was giving me head. He must be a nice guy
I want everyone to love me, and THEN I will choose who gets to eat me out all the time.
Dad just asked me to breathalyze grandma
I feel like if he almost got me pregnant once, i can at least say hi in a bar
AND I JUST BURNT MY BACON. WTF MONDAY. SCREW YOU TOO
Worse. He's Mormon. At least a gay guy will go get drinks with me.
I don't wanna shit myself again in 2015
Good for you, kid with a beer in hand as you walk to your 11 am class.
I thought this was a dry campus.
That means you have to bring your own beer from home.
Just discovered I was so fucked up last night I called in sick to work... TWICE
I would accept a super bowl ring as an engagement ring
So my step mom just informed me she tells stories about me at work as a form of birth control for the girls that work there, not sure if i should be offended or proud.
Well, we went shopping. He bought me starbucks and ate me out in the change room at target. If that isnt the best post covid first date, I don't know what is
Randomize
