Bike broken, reschedule party till thursday:(
Do you still like to have your hair pulled?
No, I never liked having my hair pulled. I think you have me confused.
I just got a facebook invite to join a group called "bring back the old franzia spout." i never want our generation to grow up.
The homeless ppl in LA are great. Theres sum guy that makes all of his clothes out of tighty whitey underwear. He makes bags out of them 2. Presumably 2 hold more underwear.
I won't go into too much detail about this but you should probably wash your sheets. In bleach. Or just burn them. Thanks for letting me sleep in your bed bro. Enjoy scotland.
My google searches from last night: tetanus shot rabbit bite, Bacardi gluten free
i got a standing ovation for bringing skittles to the party
Awee what are you going to name your new dog?
What dog?
I had another sex dream about you but it was very dissatisfying. As you finished you starting singing the star spangled banner. then you left. I was not amused.
Neither a grow-er nor a show-er. More like a no-er. If he didn't have testicles, I'm not sure you could tell he was a male, even standing there naked. There will be no second date.
dude, im taking a shit and i just realized it's his MOM in the shower not him...oh fuck
My day so far: morning after pill and pancakes. Living the dream.
Like either my tits got bigger or I've succumbed to Trumps tiny hand syndrome
Yeah I knew you'd like him. He's emotionally and physically self destructive.
We would have so much to talk about!
I was so high last night that at one point I kept licking his neck saying he tasted like soap and truffles.
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