Paul doesn't remember going to the bar and slept on someone's porch...doesn't know whose porch...maybe near Howard U.
I thought you said his peep was too small
it is but i have no money and nothing is on tv until 7 when americas next top model comes on.
Pissed on my Blackberry at the Astros game. Wish me luck explaining that one at work.
How young is too young to ask my kid to make me a drink?
Just got caught pissing on a plant in her room while she was in the shower first word out of my mouth were my bad
Have you ever noticed how boring internet porn is after you cum? I can't shut my computer fast enough.
then again I'm sitting on a tree stump completely naked in the dark listening to some type of glee soundtrack.
I'm covered in pickle juice. Why do you people leave me alone?
omg i met someone at the bar who sells hair feathers. that are long. saved in my phone as "haiirs deather"
The woman at the bus stop told me i smell delicious and asked if i wear cotton then proceeded to tell me about her shellfish allergy
I would take a bullet for Beyonce's baby
I just put bacon on a thin mint and enjoyed the shit out of it. I better not be fucking pregnant.
He's basically wearing those Nike boner sweatpants. It's hard not to jump him. How has your day been?
How do I explain the handcuffs and tanning goggles on our living room floor? There's rope too. The cats love the rope.
The last thing I remember is being given a cup full of absinthe and deciding I needed to wear my tool belt
You were returned to the hotel by someone wearing a priest costume and carrying knives.
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