yeah, we don't understand. the wings losing for guys is like girls finding objects in their body..just weird and sad
he's going on about how he's going to treat me right and wants to let himself be in love with me and spend a lot of time together. kids these days. like its not about sex anymore. i'm confused.
There's nothing like vomiting in the restroom at work to remind you that you're not in college anymore.
You high fived me for banging your sister but lock me outta house bc I ate your pumpkin pie? Priorities bro
I don't care if shes your sisters age. Once someone is on my to do list theres only one way to get them off it
You crawled through a doggy door 5 times for a shot if cheap vodka.
So half of us were already throwing up outside when the Ukrainians ask us if we're ready to start partying yet. I love this country.
My internship group is made up of all freshman. Their enthusiasm for education and social interaction sickens me.
I gave them the 'I used to fuck your son' discount.
This day took a left turn at "This is your going away party, I got a bunch of blow."
I genuinely attribute some of my blowjob skills to playing saxophone in highschool
Pretty sure my parents just hear me get off from the living room but I feel like they should be proud that I did it without a man honestly.
I'll give you a blowjob in a Santa hat if it will put you in the Christmas spirit
Last night you dunked donut holes in spinach dip, ate it, threw up, and continued eating. I cant keep up with your drunk eating skills.
I was wondering where the donuts went.
She was drunk running in the middle of the street when a cop saw her,picked her up and dropped her off at her house. This really doesn't surprise me.
Randomize
