So i looked up from her cooch and there was her ex-boyfriend
Awkward
Ive had to apologize to every girl i know today because of you
There's a girl sitting in front of me making a PowerPoint on Jack Bauer.
while you laid on the ground I poured water into your mouth out of dog bowl some random guy walks by and said now that's what I like to see.
I've awoken at 3am again, in a night terror, just thinking about how big his dick was.
Seriously, I am going to crawl in a hole, sew my vagina shut, and spit acid on any man that comes near me.
So I just crossed my legs and I was like what is this lump on my leg? Oooh its my underwear from last time I wore these jeans...
Yeah. Moral of the story: Don't mace yourself. It sucks dick.
It was a "my chaser needed a chaser" kind of night
Dude. Where are you? There's a hot chick drunkenly dancing on the bar and aggressively taking shots to Pink songs. She looks like she needs a rebound. Get. Here. Now.
FUCK NYC TRAFFIC.
Blacked in cold and wet, with them areound me singing Aaaaall we are saaaaayiiiing is YOU PEED YOUR PANTS
Just whisper "I fucked your boyfriend" in her ear and be done with it.
I woke up next to my bosses toilet.i wish you had just left me in the neighbors yard.
not only did he puke in his mouth and hold it.. He also sneezed while doing this
I’ve got full Covid immunity, blonde hair and great tits! I’m basically unstoppable
Randomize
