Racial profiling caused me to miss two cabs but the third cabs the charm - he's playing Jesus Music
In these economic times, linking arms taking tequilla shots with your boss as an underage girl is the best job security I can think of
ok this guy next to me just sat down with a no joke, 10,000 page book, popped an addy, cracked open a red bull and opened the book to page 1.
my shit smells like andre
Just pooped at the strip club. NOT NORMAL . I may be a little too comfortable here.
There r osticjed everywhere
I shouldn't have to thank you for taking off your captain hat off before we had sex
I figured out that he lasts longer when I rap during sex. He made it all the way through "Love the Way you Lie"
Accidentally gagged on my toothbrush and puked up a Walgreen's cheeseburger. 1) I am not going to be on top of my game tonight. 2) Since when do I have a gag reflex? 3) Walgreen's cheeseburgers are awesome.
I dont know what we smoked last night but I woke up and found out I started writing a book called White Trash Princess. Its the best thing Ive ever read
He told me he wanted to sober fuck the shit outa me... I took that as a compliment
I'm auditing financial statements and ur growing weed this is bullshit how did this happen to me
Is 36 too old to fuck a college student? THIS IS BOTH IMPORTANT AND TIME SENSITIVE
he just fucked me for my cheese..
she just kept pointing at the cows and calling them field penguins
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