he's chasing his jose cuervo with hot tub water
I really wish i had a penis so i could dick slap that bitch right now
So my mouth tastes like dick. Does that explain how our talk went?
I could hear his roommate in the background imitating my sex sounds...
I guess I should mention that I have already fucked the Fed Ex guy.
That changes everything.
She had to leave early so she could get ready for her high school's homecoming. I hope her date likes sloppy seconds.
riding the spinning bikes at the rec after Valentines Day was a baaddddd idea
That is correct. I did in fact somehow pass out in the tanning booth for over an hour. And yes the attendant did have to open it up and shake me awake.
This year i'm grateful for nothing other than the discovery that the uncircumcized rumors about him were wrong
We don't watch enough power rangers
Our group of friends now have more broken bones than reasonable excuses for why they're broken.
Is it a bad thing for a seven year old to call one an alcoholic? Asking for a friend..
Just masturbating and watching Sports Center...is this what it's like to be a guy?!
this weekend took five years off my life and what was left of my dignity
I just bought sparkling water with plan B. I am the most basic bitch to ever exist.
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