Don't forget I'm 20 now
I liked you more when you were 19
woke up with peach flovored chap stick on my taint ! dont ask why i know it was peach
how much do you want to bet that her wedding invites will be vera bradley themed? loser has to frame theirs.
i feel like a lion cub that has been breast fed for years, and mom has left, and now i have to learn how to hunt on my own
Contrary to what I yelled at them last night, it turns out campus police CAN arrest people...
Dude he's not responding... I'll take that as an unpleasant visit to the clinic
the only good thing about going home with him was that he was prettier than me.
He's so twisted that he's acting out Dragon Ball-Z by himself. The Tanquray and THC combo doesn't play around.
I can't help but look at my sex life and acknowledge that this is not normal behavior.
I mean, I would have, but I couldn't come up with a logical reason to bring up oral sex during an orientation.
But can mardi gras accurately capture the essence of my tiny rage?
Thanks for having me over last night. Sorry I licked rum off your kitchen floor.
So you broke your ribs while fucking? Dude you just got about 25% hotter.
She passed out in my baby sister's room so we put her in one of my grandma's diapers, put a pacifier in her mouth, put her in my sister's crib and took pictures.
I sharted in court today and had to sit on it for about three and a half hours.
Randomize
