Dude she looked like Jerry Garcia's knuckles
the guy in front of me just bought a pound of bacon, a bouquet, and a case of budlight, i want to see THAT makeup sex
She has 2500 facebook friends. I probably should have used a condom.
the recent google searches were "were can i buy a porn horse, why does my heart hurt after drinking, and orlando's teen night..." your thought process perplexes me
I don't know whether to call the hospital or call the prison first.
I'm 50% weirded out and 50% into it
It was less of a bar, and more of an abandoned basement that some people sell booze in.
she wanted me to tie her up with my playstation charger cord. i kept on hoping she wasn't a squirter. those cords r expensive. could have def been a Sony commercial tho
forgot to tell you your neighbor walked out of her house this morning just as I was leaving shirtless
the guy I've been trying to get with saw my brother's genitals before he saw mine, so that's my life.
Your drunk naked friend is roaming the living room. Started roaming my room. Please come retrieve him
He's unconstrained by sanity, physics, or his liver.
I apparently asked the cab driver to show us his dick and then he showed me a picture of his girlfriend
I CLEANED MY BATHROOM FOR YOU!! betrayal
A legendary roster of degenerates has been assembled.
Randomize
