Remember that time I came into your room after taking a muscle relaxant and we argued about what state has the longest coastline?
I heard you aren't going to graduate...that suck sorry bro
I heard your girlfriend is trying to spread swine flu because she wants to wear one of those masks to cover up her broke ass teeth
I don't wanna hook up with anyone from minnesota
everybody there reminds me of mashed potatoes... white and lumpy
yeah, that's what i said too. right before i tackled that street sign.
She literally crushed my balls between her butt cheeks. It was both the greatest and worst thing ever. Dancers are awesome.
Just charged fat mistake $3 for a beer.
sorry for allegedly lighting the beer pong balls of fire
Dude, this guy showed up with a 40 and stayed for two days. I want that lack of responsibility
In complete seriousness I think I am the highest person on earth
Your mom won me $100 and you showed me your tits. Solid evening.
Just pulled a Kenny Powers on a snowmobile
Then years and years after that I will send you a picture of my warped vagina from all the kids that I had.
Can't believe we're making vacation plans with the guy we had a threesome with
Oh shit. My bra is undone and I'm pretty sure I peed on my sandal
Anything special planned for Valentines Day?
Does testing the strength of my coworker’s marriage count?
Randomize
