I need a slap back to reality. Or at least a slap back to homosexuality
she just made a shot glass out of magazine paper. I love her.
Note: footlong is not the password to the subway wi fi network.. p.s- im super high
Somebodaw call 311 postw fire bunso on vietena floorwnkd
The doctor asked me what height I fell from to hurt my back.. I answered keg height
True life. I have to get a nose job due to a deviated septum from blowing coke. Thank you college.
You just squeezed a person out of you and I'm drunks at 2PM. Our lives got traded and you know it and you're jealous.
I think this agreement was sent by God. I get to do my own thing, get laid, and he still makes me breakfast in the morning.
You know you've got awesome issues when the main deciding factor of whether or not to cut your nails depends on nacho consumption in the near future
Will you be super villain lesbian lovers with me for halloween?
Alternately I could tell him western classical is just a series of events that had to happen for music to reach the point where Beyoncé was able to pen drunk in love, which is the pinnacle of humanity's artistic achievement thus far
she's pretty fucking smug for someone who has had unprotected sex with a convicted felon
you know its getting late when the "nevers" are turning into "maybe"
I really need to stop turning to the BDSM dungeon masters of tinder whenever my heart hurts
Officially not baby mama #3. Celebration is in order.
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