y did u give ur computer a hand job?
Dude. No way. She insults the term butterface. She's a butternothing.
ok so hold on... from what i hear... thank you... i'm sorry... and your welcome.
Your beautifulness. Funnyness. Sexy hairness. Coolness. Plus you ask google how far wendys is from your house. Will you marry me
It's totally ok to sleep with him. The only place I have feelings for him is in my vagina.
Just woke up to the best idea ever. Vodka infused BUTTER. Take a second, and think of the possibilities.
I just very easily got pretty high off of one bowl of shitty dirt weed. I'm a sad excuse for who I used to be.
On a toatally unrelated note, I see music in my hair
i cant believe im seriously wearing his ex girlfriends underwear right now
thanks for not telling him i named my trumpet after his dick
My worst fear almost came to light...I was choking and the cats stared at me like they had no problem eating my face if I died
The only things in my fridge are almond milk, Smirnoff Ice and chicken noodle soup. I'd say I've done mama proud.
I have no inclination to even want to think about what God's existential meltdown is going to be like. O.o
I wish more of my problems were easily solvable by taking a good long shit.
I just puked on a sprinkler…Motherfucker tried to spray me
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