He's so far in the closet he's in Narnia
Regardless, you never quit out of your interenet. You left your porn on the living room comp. Then you passed out four feet from the chair with your hand still down your pants. We decided that we should go back to her place instead. Worlds best wingman.
Your sister thinks she pees out of her clit. Did you have Sex Ed or Sunday School growing up?
well I mean we knew we had more drinkers than runners, so we had a "case race for the cure" for relay for life instead of an actual marathon. day drinking and philanthropy. can't go wrong.
dude,it's memorial day.not getting wasted=you're a terrorist
I love drunk self when he leaves a prepacked bong for the morning... in the bathroom.
I went out in the middle of the night to smoke my weed.. Didn't realize my dad was sitting on the patio doing the exact same thing..
This place doesnt have redbull or serve shots. Its like they are at war with fun.
Selling drugs in raindeer antlers is the best way to spread christmas cheer
My week is over as of 8pm tonight, and I'm herpes free...Let's rage
Join us. We're on the roof drinking breakfast
I have a gay crossdressing neighbor that's dresses up as a slutty pirate. 6 beers from now I would have hit on him. I hate halloween.
I partied with 2 slutty ninja turtles from Sweden last night, I Love Halloween.
Went out with the family last night and some 40 yr old lady wanted to take me home. My mom was not happy with me
The next time we go out, we're bringing a jar so that people can contribute to the rest of what I need to come up with for my breast implants... We'll show them yours for inspiration and persuasion.
He nicknamed his dick "the fountain of youth" I think it's time to move on...
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