This is your Morning Wood Report: I have it.
If that really is brett favre's penis, no wonder she ignored his calls
some guy i've known for a week sent me nudes saying "you're welcome" i need an award for this birthday
Watching the dude who probably knocked me up be all cute with his girlfriend on my couch. I am too nice, and I hate today.
That amazing moment when the girl in the passenger seat decides to strip you while your driving.
Why am I getting texts saying are you ready for this butthole? Help
I'm beginning to think the entirety of my appeal is due to the size of my ass.
That moment when you can't decide if you should vote for the random frat guy you have head to at the beginning of the semester for business and technology senator.
I figured you were on something. You're way too happy right now to be sober
Dude you literally tried to cook your phone in the microwave. You were so wasted you asked your mom to help you turn it on.
It's only 9 and these two girls are already walking around Walmart barefoot and holding their heels. WE NEED TO STEP IT UP.
I keep worrying the police are going to come looking for us.
For which one? Starting a fire on my porch or having sex on my porch?
I'm a little concerned about right now. You showed up at my house soaking wet, drunk with a bag of ham and 2 liter of Dr. Pepper, and you refused to tell me where you got the ham until I gave you some more liquor.
Last thing I remember at your house last night is your dad leaning on the beer pong table and saying "you guys can fucking party"
She’s 47 and wants me to fuck her on her mom’s hospital bed
Randomize
