You keep asking me questions like I have this magical thing called a memory
That's what happens when you let Keystone Light make your decisions.
I found your twin in sf. His name is ryan. And you are the evil one.
She has an album entitled "my photography", which consists of about 80 different pictures of a tractor that she took on her cell phone. I'm all for freedom of expression, but come on.
They have beer in plastic boots. How am I supposed to resist that?
Writing apology letters and leaving them on peoples doors for your actions is NOT what I want to be doing at 6am.
We're sitting in his room writing songs about America. There's a verse about a dead dog. There's tequila everywhere.
This essay is so getting done. I am spurred on by thoughts of test-driving your newly shaven face by sitting on it as soon as humanly possible.
He is the blood diamond of hook ups. You think you want it...but you don't
I ate shit on a rock, and when I got up this car full of people asked me if I was okay, and I just sprinted away screaming "I am a banana!"
Denial and avoidance are my survival strategies for 2013.
Denial, avoidance and beer.
As my straight cousin I need you to answer a question. Are the Astros a baseball team, and if so, are they good? This is flirting related and time-sensitive.
I mean I've seen her tits but I don't know what her voice sounds like
Look, he's a hot korean guy with a motorcycle and a great ass. I'm gonna do head-titingly kinky shit with him.
Smoking weed with a blind guy, don't worry he's chill.
Randomize
