I'm really into asian looking animals
Discovered the coffee filter hasn't been changed in a while. I believe the mold has hypnotic properties. Would try it again, but coffee vomit is not pleasant.
you got in your car and made the sounds of a NASCAR, then called me on your phone and I was your pit crew. then you apparently you won the race, and THAT'S when you tried to backflip off the top of your car.
I took an adderall but just ended up meticulously arranging my farmville for hours
Is it because I queefed?
Eating alone in the dark with one candle. This is sorta sad.
I fucked him in a hamburger. literally. he has a hamburger bed.
i always knew that i'd have sex in your room, i just assumed it would be with you
Did you guys have sex yet? And don't worry, I broke the ice already by sending this to both of you. So you can just jump right into it. You're welcome.
I just realized I consumed seven different types of alcohol this weekend. And I'm only counting jungle juice as one of those. How the fuck did I not die?
A man just poked my foot with his crutches while I'm shitting. Is that how the disabled gays ask for a glory hole blow jay?
I just found out that order of 30 Beefy 5-Layers last weekend has achieved legendary status among the Taco Bell employees. Is there a Stoner Achievement for that?
Nothing like cleaning out your cleavage from lunch, finding cookie crumbs and eating them...
Possibly having a threesome with my ex boyfriend and his current girlfriend was great closure on that subject
Every time I look at him 'Relax' by Frankie Goes to Hollywood plays in my head. Is that weird?
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