You called information & said "connect me to johnny depp" when they told u it wasn't listed u said " try depp comma johnny he's expecting my call"
Where does it all go? I've busted inside of you like 10 times in the last week.
he walked in on you at the party drunkenly dancing alone on the bed wearing mardi gras beads, sunglasses, and using one ski pole as a microphone.... and you STILL got laid. i dont get your life.
All four of us managed to throw up in the same bathroom at different times during the night. I think we'll get along great living together.
I truly believe that the solid foundation of any healthy relationship is a drunken one night stand so I can just get all the nasty shit out on the table
i just wanna lock my vagina in a safe filled with bandaids and healthy things
So if a 2 is a 10 on the road... do we consider college to be "on the road?" help. its urgent.
I swear my vagina formed calluses just to deal with how big he is
Koalas always seemed like really high little puppy kittens to me.
this celing is unfamiliar to me... im just vaguely wondering where i am. but not quite concerned enough to do anything about it.
That is cause you are some weird type of mutant that lives off of Alcohol.
yeah I woke up in jail with two different shoes on and neither of them were mine
He asked me how flexible I was and all I could think about was that time I threw my back out putting in a tampon.
Do normal couples celebrate occasions naked with Chicken McNuggets and BBQ sauce?
None of what you just said was coherent
I just bought wine at a gas station what the hell do you expect
Randomize
