8am blowjobs give a whole new meaning to morning breath..
Dude i just want you to know that when i found you half your mustache was already gone. I didn't do it.
i caught him jerking off, doing his SAT Prep. forever alone.
I went up to get a drink from the hotel room. And ended up getting arrested in the lobby. Spring break has not been forgiving this year.
It'll be a Christmas-Fucking-Miracle if we get through the ceremony without a groomsman vomming
I am the worst sexter. i actually told him .. if i had a penis, it would be hard right now. BTW thats a turn off.
Omfg amy I'm not kidding you I think a blow job is what landed me in the hospital
I'm going to get like 25 drinks at their wedding and just leave them sitting around or give them to hobos.
Drinking vodka straight from my water bottle because of the debate. I just need to forget.
Well tech shes born nov 12, but since her head was out on the 11th, she claims both days as her birthday
Lmfao I'm not trying to have a pissing contest over acid with my mom.....
I feel so much better about my break up knowing that he's having his 26th birthday at Rollar kingdom\n
James is trying to butt-heads with a moose. I don't know whether I should stop him or just sit back and watch where this goes.
Stop making fun of my hookups!
Stop getting hookups that I can make fun of!
Everything is scary i hate being an adult i hate responsibility tell me a dick joke
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