Omg. Get me out of here. Someone is playing michelle branch.
My entire floor is waiting for the couple to come out of the shower. She's a screamer. We've blockaded them
this lesbian fantasy crush is getting WAY out of hand. just spent an entire meeting staring at her long fingers thinking, "oh those could be fun"
Kegstand on crutches, you need to get on my level.
I need to find more Xanax, my Grandpa doesent leave for another week and he's made it a mission to get me to come out of the closet as a xmas gift to my parents.
I tried to talk to him, but he didn't recognize me at first. I had to show him the top of my head and then he remembered.
I will refer to it as the penis of glory... he fucked me for 3 and a half hours - and all he needed was a 5 minute power nap in the middle (which he took WHILE INSIDE ME). I plan on staying with him forever
He was on my bed looking at me like a sacrifice to the gods of gay sex and he's definitely a bottom. Like Jesus Christ a really, really great ass of a bottom.
I'm glad I can share my workout progress with you via my nudes
As a gentleman whose genital hole is relatively small, you could imagine my reaction
I also have bagel bites. I know that's not as big an incentive as the cocksucking but.....
so is it socially acceptable to send her an "i got my man back you whore" card?
Yeah, so if you ever try to steal it, just know my tongue's been on it in several occasions. All over it.
Um. I just realized I still have a beer in my purse from last night. I'm at work. I am so classy.
My boyfriend's mom is the manager of Wendy's. The same one I took a pregnancy test in.
Randomize
