He is drunkenly eating my teddy grahms and making little growling noises as he bites the head off of each one.
i might even pee on it at walmart i am so nervous
so when I got there he was dressed as jesus in a recliner drinking whiskey out of the bottle watching spanish porn. Then kept shouting dont judge me or ill judge you. we didn't even go to a halloween party.
They really brought out their best strippers for vday weekend
Post-sex chicken soup was such a good idea. It's been like an hour and I'm still applauding myself
she just punched a dude and called him a peasant for not drinking fast enough in flip cup.
The smoke alarm went off as soon as we opened the closet.
i really regret not blowing your cousin before he went to jail
Finals week...the biggest cock block since your brother threatened me with a beer bottle at the bar.
Tell me about it. Running across highways take alot outta ya. When he found out, he was all "concerned" about it.
Looking back on this weekend, I'm most grateful I never brought up with word "toe-fucking" at the bachelorette party.
I just need to stick to one night stands and delete social media
Just googled myself and a bunch of boob shots of me came up. Apparently my phone automatically uploaded them to my google plus.
Please google me ASAP and ensure I corrected this...
And despite my lack of successful relationships I'm a fucking guru
That's like claiming you're a good coach but going 2-12 last season
Good Morning! You are sterile right?
Randomize
