woke up naked, spooning with wine bottle.. and my video chat was still open. fuck, not again.
I just set a weed brownie on fire in the microwave.
Successful day.
The one night I bring a girl home you leave the footloose soundtrack playing.
I just won Halloween Walk of Shame Bingo!
So, halfway through sex he stops and starts crying. He said he's worried god hates him for all his bad decisions...think he meant to imply I was one of them...
of course. lets lasso hookers.
you called her butter tits and then threw up in your cup. i dont know if theres any way to come back from that
you want your laptop back?
are you giving me my laptop back, or cashing in on our break up sex?
both.
come over.
Im tired as fuck but i cant leave him here like this i gave him the acid and i feel the responsibillity to put his mind back together its fun im an architect about to about to construct a whole new belief and moral system inside this soul. Talk about the best psychothearpy
In the UK. Bar special, every drink costs a pound. I'm two shots away from being deported. God save the queen.
My eyes feel like they're throwing up and I am the only human on campus
My Saturday dick is so much more impressive than my Tuesday dick.
If you don't sing me a lullaby then I'll just take shots till I pass out
Just shared a bacon biscuit with my cat.... Life is weird for me right now
a reward? ill think of something
if its not drugs or food I swear to god ill throw a fit
Randomize
