I wanna bring you to show and tell
I want to stick my p in your. b.
Why is it people are always in costumes on Cheaters these days? Joe Greco literally just said, "It appears they get chased by a chicken with a chainsaw." WTF?
i always forget that thursday isnt the weekend in the real world
i wish there was an iPhone app that lets you write a TeXt LiKe tHiS
dude...come out of the closet already
I interrupted her conversation with, "are we gonna fuck yet?" and she immediately got naked. thanks for the blind date
i almost set my kitchen on fire last night. homecoming week is getting the best of me
If youre wondering about the smell, i set your hamster on fire. But don't worry he's ok
I would come over if there was not the impending fear of me shitting out my brains.
Emoji's do wonders when you actually have nothing at all to say..
He managed to crash an entire train of shopping carts into a wall. I think he noticed my implants.
You poured your drink on him and called him a "useless cocksucker" because he wouldn't give you a ride home... on his skateboard
Walking my dog and eating a taco in last night's dress.. Classy
he's so sweet and its so cute. but I swear to fuck if I let my guard down and this was all a lie I am going to become a serial killer.
I deleted all traces of him from my phone
even the dick picks he sent you?
no are you nuts? saved that shit to my camera roll
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