Does leaving at 3 give Sara enough time to take the bus or are you picking her up?
I cant tell if your joking or not, but I'm picking her up
Do you need some kind of permission slip from her parents or can anyone just go and grab a high schooler these days?
I finally won that bet on when the anorexic girl would pass out at the gym. You owe me 10 now
I'm sober enough to realize she looks like a man, but drunk enough to do it anyways
it's like heaven, but drunker
I think "banned from Amtrak due to excessive projectile vomiting" would sum up the evening quite nicely.
He had a ladies night special at his place. Unlimited jello shots till 10, 50 cents after.
He kept telling me how extraordinarily clean my ears were.
I should probably file for unemployment. Sometime between last night and 4 AM I facebooked my manager the lyrics to hoe by ludacris. I'm just projecting ahead here.
We're past the whole "Did she just try to finger my ass?" Stage. Now it's encouraged.
You have no idea I looked like the porno version of Laura Ingalls Wilder
I'M CUDDLING WITH MY CAT AND THAT GUY SENT ME A DICK PIC. UNANNOUNCED DICK PICS ARE TERRIFYING AND MY CAT WILL NEVER BE THE SAME
Like I could say no to two hot people already naked and fucking. Please. I'm not made of stone.
Twice?!
I don't know what to do about my nipple.
I'm sitting on the couch playing the sims, how's ur night going?
I'm sitting on my floor, drinking wine, and listening to bette midlers "wind beneath my wings"
Why are our lives so predictable?
The air I exhale reeks of whiskey and bad decisions
Randomize
